not again

2009

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 03:59:00 -0500

I just can’t help but be sentimental this time of year. When I think back to how this year has progressed I have mixed emotions. On one hand, I have had my heart broken by losing two friends in car accidents this year, broke my foot, had cancerous skin cells, had a car accident and totaled my car (not my fault!), and swine flu… but on the other hand I had my most favorite birthday ever, learned how to wakeboard, been to a million amazing concerts, got Elton John AND Steven Tyler’s autographs, and made lots of new friends. I should be graduating in May, but I won’t until next December, which is okay with me, but I wonder how different things are going to be in a year from now. I absolutely love my life, and I am so blessed to have so many amazing friends and family. Looking back, I think 2009 is one of the most memorable year I’ve had. It was a hard one, but I believe it all made me stronger.

I also have a feeling 2010 will be amazing.

Black Betty, my new car, is a 2010

and I’ll graduate in 2010….

Maybe I’ll fall in love too.

It’s all happening. <3

<3

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 00:48:00 -0400

Make a list of things you need, leave it empty.

Except for number one.

Write: Love- gamble everything.

dissapointed

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 20:13:22 -0400

I always liked the term “turning on, tuning in, and dropping out”

I figured it had to do with listening to music and forgetting about the world…

but I just found out it’s about male masturbation.

—and that does not apply to me.

I can’t stop thinking about you.

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 10:34:00 -0400

I can’t stop thinking about you.

The longer that I’m out here the better you soundYou’re scrunching up your face in this...

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 10:33:53 -0400

The longer that I’m out here the better you sound
You’re scrunching up your face in this picture I found and
I’m chasing after you, steadily losing ground
I don’t wanna forget so I’m writing it down

Have you ever? No, never never?
I find that hard to believe
Now let’s burn the furniture
To see how angry a fire can make me

And you say that there’s someone that you need to reconnect with
Some scarecrow from high school that you loved but never slept with
A baby with a pipe dream playing hopscotch on your bandages

And I’m singing all his songs while I sleep on your couch
I’m coughing up a lung but I’m covering my mouth and
I paint you on the wall
Yellow, red, green and brown
I miss you all the time but I’m blocking it out

Are you better? No, never never?
What does that say about me?
Now let’s break the smoke alarm
To see how scared locked windows will make me

So you say there’s a stranger staring sideways in a deep freeze
A loner draped in ivy playing slumlord in his city dream
A faker with an art form pulling magic tricks on the weak girls up his sleeve

And I’m choking right along with the words in my throat
I’m falling back in love with the letter you wrote and
I think that I was wrong, but I guess I don’t know
I figure that I’ll wait until you tell me so

The longer that I’m out here the better you sound
You’re scrunching up your face in this picture I found and
I’m chasing after you steadily losing ground

I miss you all the time but I’m blocking it out and
The longer that I’m out here
The longer that I’m out here
The longer that I’m out here
The longer that I’m out here the better you sound

hey boom boom… I really wish I could call you right now… I wish I could hear your voice,...

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 01:17:37 -0400

hey boom boom… I really wish I could call you right now… I wish I could hear your voice, and I wish it was all a bad dream. I miss you everyday… but for some reason today is really bad. Just little things remind me of you. I don’t even want to sleep in my bed because thats where you slept. And I don’t want to leave my house, and I don’t want to talk to anyone, and I just want to talk to you and I cant. I am really trying to be strong but I am not doing so well of a job tonight… I just wanted to know that I loved you a whole whole lot. Love Hun.

Gradu-WHAT?! school

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 09:26:08 -0400

I’m thinking about getting my MFA… What the hell am I thinking!? Hahah…

Photo

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 01:33:43 -0400

Photo

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 01:33:23 -0400

I miss you all the time.

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 01:31:00 -0400

I miss you all the time.

NINJAS>ZOMBIES>VAMPIRES

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 03:15:00 -0400

SO— I freaking saw ELTON JOHN last week! He signed my goodbye yellow brick road album too!! It really means a lot to me because I have grown up listening to Elton John and that album was given to me by my mom when I was younger. I have listened to it a million times…. and the coolest part of the album (besides having Elton’s signature!) is this huge butterfly sticker inside the cover that my mom peeled out of the hotel window that my mom and dad stayed at the night of their honeymoon. I actually cried because it meant so much to me!! I’ll never forget that night for as long as I live! I am seriously SO LUCKY. Paull seriously made my life complete by taking me to that concert, and I will never ever be able to thank him enough!

For some reason I have had “This train don’t stop there anymore” on repeat for the last couple days… no idea why. It’s actually a pretty depressing song, and I am not depressed at all!! Haha! God I love Elton John.

I’m ready for this semester to be over. Only 48 days left, but who is counting? I’m ready for SUMMER. Today was the first day of spring, and I hope it doesn’t get cold again between now and summer…

I am ready for summer, however— I have made some pretty awesome friends this semester and I actually like going to class. I told Gary the other day I never wanted to graduate. I seriously love him and Denny and don’t know where I would be with out them… and MISTY! The other day she suggested that I go on to graduate school, come back and teach at RSU so I can eat lunch with her everyday! Haha!

The truth is, I am just kind of scared of graduating. I don’t know what I am going to do… and I LOVE DESIGNING!! Seriously dude. And I think the job pool is kind of thin in that area… actually I think the job pool is pretty thin everywhere! Oh well, I plan on shooting weddings for as long as possible… although, that’s NOT what I want to be known for… but I enjoy it, and it pays the bills. Tim Bonea, asked me to shoot some weddings with him this summer, and I am looking forward to that… pretty badass.

I guess I made this post a little longer than I expected. I blame it on insomnia.

http://www.caylaspears.com

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 19:55:37 -0400

http://www.caylaspears.com

Few things

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 23:19:00 -0400

Just a few things I wold like to touch base on. First of all, is wold a word? Apparently it is, because my computer has spellcheck on 24/7.

Main Entry:: wold
Pronunciation:: \ˈwōld\
Function:: noun
Etymology:: Middle English wald, wold, from Old English weald, wald forest; akin to Old High German wald forest, Old Norse vǫllr field
Date:: before 12th century

1: a usually upland area of open country2capitalized : a hilly or rolling region —used in names of various English geographic areasWolds>

Okay.

Secondly… I almost forgot what I was going to say… But I remember. I have decided that there should be 2 types of colleges. One for TRADITIONAL students from the ages of 18-30. The other is for old people. 30+. If you don’t graduate by the time you’re 30, sorry you suck at life and I don’t enjoy having class with you. Sorry (not really though.)
Also I think I will never get married. I am too picky. Sometimes I look at couples and think, are the together because they love each other, or because they just picked some random person. I don’t get it. Sure, I could date plenty of guys, but I choose not to waste my time on them… Because I have this dream guy in my head, that may or may not exist…
I want him to be a graphic designer, a studio artist, or a photographer. I want him to want to travel the world with me. I want him to watch Disney movies with me. Go on drives at midnight with me and dance in the rain with me. Play guitar and cuddle with me. I want him to be smart, but not the smart that gets annoying because he knows everything, but the smart that is wise. I want him to wear old T shirts and thrift-store finds. I want him to take pictures with me. Go hang out every friday in downtown tulsa and eat at the Brook with me… Introduce me to music I actually like. Lay with me in the grass on a hot summers day with out saying a word but just watching the clouds. I want us to live in a loft apartment in a town near cincinnati or tulsa and go to Kings Island, and make mud babies in the creek. I want him to be into the music scene and be a complete fucking badass.
IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?
If it is, then I don’t want anything else.

In other news stay tuned for something BIG. Well, for me it’s BIG.

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 01:00:00 -0400

Song's that make me SO HAPPY!

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 16:42:00 -0400

Bennie and the Jets- Elton John

Don’t stop me now- Queen

I don’t wanna lose your love tonight- The Outfield

Wanna be- Spice Girls

D.A.N.C.E- Justice

Want

Tue, 16 Sep 2008 21:45:13 -0400

I WANT IT, I KNOW I CAN’T HAVE IT, BUT THAT MAKES ME WANT IT EVEN MORE.

I just need patience.

WOO!

I can’t wait until Thursday!!!!!

Do you remember when we were just kidsAnd cardboard boxes took...

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 01:15:43 -0400

Do you remember when we were just kids
And cardboard boxes took us miles from what we would miss
Schoolyard conversations taken to heart
And laughter took the place of everything we knew we were not

I wanna break every clock
The hands of time could never move again
We could stay in this moment (stay in this moment)
For the rest of our lives
Is it over now hey, hey, is it over now

I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you’ll ever have
I wanna be your last, first kiss

Amazing how life turns out the way that it does
We end up hurting the worst, the only ones we really love

I wanna break every clock
The hands of time could never move again
We could stay in this moment (stay in this moment)
For the rest of our lives
Is it over now hey, hey, is it over now

I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you’ll ever have
I wanna be your last, first kiss

Is it over now hey, hey, is it over now
Is it over how hey, hey, it’s not over now

I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you’ll ever have (that you’ll ever have)
I wanna be your last, first love (that you’ll ever have)
Till you’re lying here beside me with arms and eyes open wide
I wanna be your last, first kiss for all time

I am TIRED OF WAITING!!!!!!

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 19:33:47 -0400

I am TIRED OF WAITING!!!!!!

Someone Please Unconciously Deliver Daybreak

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 01:00:20 -0400

I like it when you say my name in conversation, like we’re in a movie or a book.

No, this is how it works You peer inside yourself You take the...

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 13:38:00 -0400

No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else’s heart
Pumping someone else’s blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don’t get harmed
But even if it does
You’ll just do it all again